Self Awareness

By Lara Fielding Psy.D., Ed.M | Monday, January 9, 2017
Just about anyone you ask thinks they’re super self aware. Yet we all know so many people we judge to be unaware, distracted, even ‘clueless’ to their own stuff. So, what’s going on here? Are we all in denial?  We all have gaps in self-awareness because seeing our foibles naturally causes discomfort. Self-awareness can trigger self-judgment, which... Read More
By Lara Fielding Psy.D., Ed.M | Thursday, May 19, 2016
The Dark Side of Self-Esteem.Of course we all want to feel good about ourselves!  Striving for success, accomplishing goals, feeling appreciated are all a part of a healthy life well lived. But is there a point at which the pursuit of subjective self worth can trip us up? Like anything in excess, self-esteem can have a dark side, and it may not be exactly what you think!  ... Read More
By Lara Fielding Psy.D., Ed.M | Monday, March 7, 2016
Finding True North: Your Source of Caring and Motivation  There’s a theme that tends to come up in my office when clients hit an impasse or feel stuck… “It shouldn’t be this hard! It feels like it’s not going to happen for me.” “I don’t know what to do, how it will go, which way to turn!” “Why is it so easy for everyone else?” Have you ever heard yourself say or think some version of this? In the age... Read More
By Lara Fielding Psy.D., Ed.M | Sunday, October 25, 2015
Passengers can derail us from our true purposeYou knew it! It was so obvious! You’ve seen this sort of thing so many times before – there was absolutely, positively, not a doubt in your mind. And then…. You were wrong…. We’ve all been there. A gripping thought – a tacit assumption – a core belief, which just feeeels so true. A strong emotion gets triggered and we can’t even imagine an... Read More
By Lara Fielding Psy.D., Ed.M | Tuesday, February 9, 2016
For Valentines Day: An Open Letter to Your Heart  Dear Hearts: To and from You - we are grateful. It is You that give us the gratitude we feel . . . For the pull of love's calling For the giddy enthusiasm of a new crush For the awe of our true loves beauty It is You that inspires us To pursue more of these experiences. To hold them close and dearly To protect the one You pull us towards... Read More
By Lara Fielding Psy.D., Ed.M | Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Relationship between emotions, action tendencies, communication function, Answering the BIG Questions Let's face it, in our digital age, we are becoming more and more reliant on reinforcement from the outside to tell us how we 'should' feel and what we 'should' need and care about. Don't know which product to choose? A quick Google search will give you expert reviews and opinions. Not sure about a guy you like, a... Read More
By Lara Fielding Psy.D., Ed.M | Monday, December 14, 2015
Pernicious PerfectionismIf you're a perfectionist, you know all too well how this way of being can trap you. You set high expectations for yourself, which can lead to success, and boost your self-esteem. But with those lofty goals can come a reciprocal mountain of self-criticism and judgment, which gets in the way of the success you seek! Three Typical Patterns of... Read More
By Lara Fielding | Tuesday, January 20, 2015
Are you over or under regulated? Imagine a world that is populated with small fiefdoms all throughout the land. Each has a Castle, with a king or queen, and Villagers. The Castle and the Village metaphor represents two poles of psychological coping: over regulation and under regulation.  Each has it’s strengths and it’s weaknesses. But, when either is overly prominent, rigidly... Read More
By Lara Fielding | Monday, December 21, 2015
Self Awareness as a Gift to Yourself What do you need? Now that the holiday shopping is (mostly) finished, and we look to the New Year, perhaps it is a time when you may be selfish. . . in the best sense of the word! Building your self-awareness is the best gift you can give yourself, and ultimately to share with those you love. The Gift of Self-Awareness Before you can know what... Read More
By Anonymous | Sunday, May 14, 2017
Two Faces of YouWe all have private internal experiences (emotions, thoughts, bodily sensations, and impulses), which we keep to ourselves, only sharing to a certain few. Having appropriate boundaries like this is healthy and necessary for effectively negotiating the world. But some of us have a harder time than others showing up ‘in our skin’ so to speak – fully... Read More
By Lara Fielding Psy.D., Ed.M | Monday, February 22, 2016
Balancing acceptance and change to regulate emotions  Last week Jane came into my office feeling paralyzed and confused. “When my anxiety starts up I try to use my skills to validate my emotions. But then my mind starts finding all the real things I have to feel anxious about!  So how do I know when to listen to my emotions?” Jane’s question is important, because finding the needed balance between... Read More
By Lara Fielding | Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Strategies are the things we do to minimize discomfort and obtain or hold on to pleasure. Short-term strategies are those that bring immediate gratification. Long-term strategies are those that bring longer, more enduring rewards, but require some discomfort in the short term. When short-term strategies are more prevalent than long-term, we... Read More
By Lara Fielding | Tuesday, November 17, 2015
How to Hack Your HabitsYou know how it goes when you get triggered. Something happens, and before you know it, you are hooked. Pulled into an auto-pilot repertoire of thinking and behaving, which inevitably leads to a less than ideal outcome. These traps are extraordinarily difficult for us to catch in flight precisely because they are so quick and automatic. We are all... Read More
By Lara Fielding Psy.D., Ed.M | Tuesday, May 3, 2016
Finding HappinessWe all want to be happy…. Or at least have more happiness than sadness, anxiety, or anger in our lives. But we don't know how the basic system of our mind-body machines functions, to either promote or hinder our happiness. A simple understanding of this system can get you moving in the right direction! Every week I get calls from people eager to... Read More
By Lara Fielding Psy.D., Ed.M | Monday, March 28, 2016
3 Social Comparison Biases that Torpedo Motivation  You know you do it! Most of us do – some more, some less. In the dark of night or light of day, at your desk, or procrastinating before the next task. .... Trolling social media, watching your friends’ successes, casting judgment about whatever thing they're posting and whether your life is better or worse. We ride that wave of envy, taking the... Read More